Whaaaaat?

In our last house, and also in this new (old) house, we start the fall/winter seasons with headcolds. I think we can thank the laws of physics - radiator heat has a tendancy to dry the crap out of the air in your home - but it's so nice and toasty! Once you adjust, you're fine for the rest of the heating season.

So last night at 9:45 PM I need to run out to the local Acme - I need nothing more than Tylenol Flu, bananas, and milk.... a simple quick list of items. I'm dressed like a bum, and really have no desire to talk to anyone. I'm in the store about 2 minutes and get to the register - a nice express lane with a lady holding 16 items instead of the posted 15. Whatever.

My stuff is scanned, I get ready to pay, and everything comes to a halt: "Do you have your Acme card?" "No." I reply with cashing waving in her face. "Would you like to fill out this form and sign up? It only takes a minute and you will save 30 cents on this purchase alone...." "No. I just want to pay and go home.. maybe some other time." "OK Sir, but you will save money and...."

At this point, I have a flash of several ideas. I could duct tape her mouth shut and hand her the money - maybe even just leave a 10 on the counter and leave.... keep the change just so I can get out of there. I could interrupt her and tell her that No means No in many more ways than just the sexual way...

I finally said "I'm sorry, but I can't read. So that form you're asking me to fill out would just cause more problems. Can I just pay and leave?"

She turned bright red and just gave me my change.... bye bye.